Episode 213: CrisMarie Campbell & Susan Clarke

I am happy to welcome coaches and consultants from Thrive, Inc, Susan Clarke and CrisMarie Campbell, to the table today. Their firm helps people have real conversations both at home and at work. They are authors of the books The Beauty of Conflict and The Beauty of Conflict for Couples. They’ve spent 20 years helping men, women, couples, and teams to resolve difficult conflicts and create strong, thriving relationships. They also co-host a podcast, The Beauty of Conflict, for dealing with conflict at home and at work.

We have a really great conversation about conflict. We talk about why there’s beauty in conflict; our different styles of conflict; how the way we were raised affects how we handle conflict; practical steps to deal with conflict, how personality plays into it, and how our nonverbal communication plays a role. We have a really fascinating conversation about congruency in our communication—what we feel and what we say—and why that matters so much. 

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Links mentioned:

• The Beauty of Conflict and The Beauty of Conflict for Couples by ChrisMarie Campbell & Susan Clarke

• Thrive, Inc.

Survival Kit:

• ChrisMarie:

  • walking

  • morning routine

  • meditating

  • reading something inspirational

• Susan:

  • music

  • horses

  • family

Takeaways:

• I have really been working on getting curious when I am in a conflict. Why do I feel this way? What is it that is actually upsetting me? Those questions have helped me to process what’s going internally.

• It’s good to take a beat. Giving myself time and space to manage my frustration is really essential when dealing with conflict. 

• It’s important to be congruent with what you are feeling inside and what you are communicating on the outside. Incongruence can kill relationships.

• When you feel frustrated in a relationship, ask why is this so important to you? That way you can get to what’s underneath the problem. It’s good to slow down and investigate what’s driving you.

•  Watch and observe what you do in conflict.

• It’s good to say: “Right now, I feel right and I’m stuck there.” By saying that it creates the possibility that you can move towards that person.

Discussion Questions:

• How were you trained to handle conflict?

• What is your style of handling conflict?

• What people do you have the most conflict with?

• What topics do you end up fighting about?

• How would someone close to you say how you handle conflict?

• What is something you can apply today that you heard on the podcast?

(Amazon affiliate links used when possible--purchasing through these links is an easy way to support the show. Or shop using www.SurvivingSarah.com/amazon and a portion of the what you buy will go back to the show.)

Connect with ChrisMarie & Susan:  Instagram // Website // Podcast // Facebook

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